Words of Wisdom: Weekly wit from the man who's done (almost) everything wrong!
By: Sean Weeks
While there is an infinite amount of variety in what makes up the universe in which we dwell, from animals to rocks to the concepts of time, physics, and chemistry to water and air to anger, love, and parenting and many many others, all things in nature follow a few fundamental rules. One of those rules is balance. All things in nature strive to achieve a balance in order to feel at peace. Pressures will interact in such a way as to be in natural balance. This is what, among other things, creates our weather. Just as hot and cold will fight until a balance is achieved, so too do the masses of matter interact with gravity to achieve the balance we know in astrophysics as the orbits of stars, moons, planets, and galaxies. Physicists postulate that there is a set amount of energy in our universe and it cannot be created or destroyed, only changed or moved around. Just as the universe shuffles energy around in order to maintain balance, so must we in our multifaceted lives.
In physics, if a star gains too much energy in the form of mass, it will consume everything near it until it destroys everything around it, including itself. If too little energy is put into it, it will burn out and grow cold until it dies. It’s energy is dispersed back into the universe that created it. The same is true in our lives. If something, say a hobby, receives too much of our attention and time (our energy), it will become all consuming; an obsession that crushes all our other interests in favor of itself as it sucks energy from the other things in our life. The end result is that it will eventually, like the star, destroy everything around it and eventually, ourselves. If, conversely, that hobby is not given enough time, effort, or passion (energy) it will wither until gone. The little energy it had flows back into the system of our life to be redistributed. I truly believe that, to achieve pure happiness, to live a fulfilled life in which we feel truly complete, we must achieve balance. This is very much easier said than done and I don’t believe very many people actually achieve this esoteric bliss. It is in the constant, intentional pursuit of this balance that we find peace and happiness to any degree.
It is, in essence, a math equation. Math equations always achieve balance. X+Y=Z. The parts you put in add up together to equal what you get out. I like to think of it as this-we, as humans, have a finite and limited amount of energy to put into the things in our lives. These things include our hobbies, career, children, home, interests, and, of course, our relationships. All of life is a balancing act and when we feel anxious or scattered or unhappy, this is a sign that something is out of balance. If something, say your marriage, is suffering, take a look at how much energy you are putting into it. Take a look at where your energy is going. See if you need to reprioritize the distribution of your energy to bring your life back into balance.
Some examples of things that can throw your life out of balance are (but are not limited to) too much focus on your career, putting so much into the kids that there is little time and energy left for your spouse, any addictive behaviors around substances or sex (porn), overindulging in food, obsessive hobbies, and the digital realms of video games and/or social media. If too much energy is going into one thing, it is taking much-needed energy from something else in your life. It takes objective self-honesty to identify these imbalances. We should continually be reassessing ourselves and inventorying our priorities in order to keep some semblance of balance in our lives so as to keep moving towards peace and happiness.
Life and all it’s various parts are like a math equation. It works, if it balances. If it is out of balance, you will never be able to solve it. It is not easy. It takes hard work and honesty. It is an ongoing process. It is also worth doing. You may never achieve true balance, even the best of us do not, but in the consistent and persistent pursuit of it, you will be in a constant state of growth, improvement, and increased happiness as you move closer, inch by inch, to being a complete, integrated person.
Want more? Listen to the episode “Balance: The Natural State of Life and How to Get There”