Good, Old Fashioned Hard Work

Words of Wisdom: Weekly wit from the man who's done (almost) everything wrong!

By: Sean Weeks

Well, here’s to another year behind us. It was a hard year full of uncertainty, and with it’s close comes the unknowns of 2021. Two things we do know for sure is that 2020 is over and how you grow (or regress), improve (or stagnate), succeed (or fail), and change in 2021 is down to one very simple (but by no means easy) thing-how hard you work. You get out what you put in. It works if you work it. There’s no substitute for hard work. We’ve heard these things a million times. You can’t get anymore cliche than that! How true it is, though, in the practicality of real life. While it is an astonishingly simple concept, simple does not equate to easy. The first word in it, after all, is HARD. You can apply this concept to any aspect of life, but it rings even more truly in marriage and relationships.

A successful marriage takes work, but a successful, confident marriage takes hard work that is both consistent AND persistent. One of our core values is a commitment to always be doing something to improve yourself, improve your relationship, improve your family life and when it comes to improving these things, you really do get out what you put in. The harder you work at these things, the more amazing the results will be. If you want a mediocre marriage or character, by all means, just skate by. If your level of effort is average, that’s what you’ll end up with-an average life. If you’re reading this or listening to our podcast, however, I am willing to bet that you aren’t trying to settle for average. A lot of the things we advocate for are hard. A lot of the topics we cover are hard. Easy, quick fixes and fluffy topics can be enticing because we love easy. They don’t do much. If you are willing to roll up your sleeves and give it your all, the end results will, I promise you, be worth it. Trust me, I gave minimal, average effort for years and got poor (if any) results. The real change, the huge improvements came when I threw myself into something 150%.

We, as human beings, resist change, even when it is a positive change. Our brains are wired that way. They prefer the familiar. That is one way we get stuck in unhealthy behaviors or situations in our relationships. Fortunately, we are also drawn to change in the forms of enlightenment, growth, and enrichment. I imagine, as we approach this new year, you have had some kind of conversation with yourself about resolutions or changes you want to make, both personally and in your relationship. As an aside, don’t people realize they don’t have to wait until new years to start a change? But whatever! Moreover, I bet you’ve made some resolutions in the past. Some, you probably succeeded in and some (if not most) you failed at. I want you to look back on the successes and failures. Really look at them, what you did or didn’t do, level of effort and commitment. Take a hard, objective look atb them. I think you’re going to find that the difference between the success and failure was the difference in the level of hard work that you put into them. 

Here is how hard work plays into the step-by-step process of making a permanent change:

It takes hard work just to rise above that instinct in your brain to remain the same. Consider this the “manual override” phase. The hard-wiring in your brain needs to be overcome by shear force of will, i.e. - hard work. It then takes consistent effort of doing something new day in and day out-even when you don’t want to, especially when you don’t want to. This, we will call the “reprogramming” phase. You are rewiring your brain and forming new patterns so the change can take root. You must work hard every day to make the change a part of yourself. Once the new pattern becomes habit, you will inevitably encounter obstacles. You will need to be persistent against these problems you will encounter. These roadblocks will threaten to derail you from your path and throw you back into old, unhealthy patterns. This is the “debugging” phase in which you experience glitches in the new system. These issues must be transcended through hard work. Choosing to remain on the path you have chosen takes commitment and perseverance. Conquering these adverse situations and rising above them will take maximum effort but will provide needed confidence to make the change permanent. Now, all that hard work pays off in the form of amazing results and you enter the “f*** ya! I did it!” phase. Not a very scientific name, but very descriptive of how it will feel. 

Good news-you did it! Bad news-it will take (you guessed it) more hard work to keep it. You have to be intentional about it. In other words, don’t get complacent. Remember where you came from and all the hard work you put in and how incredible the results were. Keep it in your conscious mind. Help and inspire others with what you’ve accomplished. All this will help you keep what you have attained. Make 2021 the year you achieved your goals! Make 2021 the year you put in maximum effort and got maximum results! Make 2021 the year of confidence! Make 2021 the year of HARD WORK!

Want more? Listen to the episode “Wrapping It Up With A Bow, Your Marriage Questions Answered”